I knew I needed to find private counsellors near me to help with my depression. A depression that has crept up on me over the years. I needed councillors who understood what it was like to be somebody holding down a very responsible job, whilst looking after a family and having to appear in control. So whatever councillors I found I needed ones who were going to help me quickly past my depression by appropriately challenging me and giving me sufficient homework to help me quickly change my mood.
I had heard of hypnosis in one form or another. Although not so well. I was brought up a Catholic. But after reading John Holt’s “You Can Heal Your Depression,” I started to investigate more deeply the workings of the mind and the brain. One thing led to another and I was hooked. It didn’t take me long to discover a really good depression treatment program put together by a well qualified counsellor. I began to use it. The counselling was good, the homework was sufficient, and I began to feel a great deal better, very soon. I began to see myself much more clearly and began to get a handle on my emotions and my actions.
I then sought out depression help from a psychiatrist. That was also very good. And he advised me on the best treatment for my specific issues.
And so it was that after using a hypnosis session and a psychotherapy session, then a counselling session, and finally a psychiatrist’s consultation, I found myself feeling much better and having much more control over myself. And I am describing a positive scenario.
What happened next I shall never forget.
I think I made at least 5 visits during the first 2 years of my hypnosis therapy. At the time I was very depressed. I didn’t feel very well. I had been diagnosed as having irritable bladder problems. I was told that I had to take some treatments to get rid of that. I had been told that I had poor appetite. And I had to take some treatments to improve that.
The other side effect of the poor appetite I was told, was that I had to eat lots of protein. So I started eating lots of chicken and tuna and fish. And I was seeing improvement in my appetite within a week or so. And the poor appetite was disappearing.
But within a month I started to feel really bad. I thought I was dying. I was told that I was suffering from irritable bowel syndrome. And the only way to get rid of that was to take certain treatments. I decided to try hypnosis. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before.
I began to go to the hypnosis session at the local health club. The sessions were free and the first one I went to was basic relaxation. I had a mild relaxation trance session. I was feeling very good. I asked to go straight into depression relaxation. The session was funnelled into that.
The mood was so negative. I don’t remember anything that happened after that. But I did get out of the session feeling a little better. And the session wasn’t so bad.
The next session was focused on anger. So I asked to go straight into anger. This session was much worse than the previous one. I was quite angry. I could see that things were going wrong. There was a lot of anger. And I don’t remember anything after that session. But I do remember wanting to come out of that session feeling a little better. And I did come out of the session feeling a little better.
And the sessions became more intense. I don’t remember how many the sessions were. I do remember that each one was a lot worse than the one before. I’m pretty sure I made a choice at the end of the session to go straight into a new session. I think I chose anger or depression. But I can’t be sure. That’s how bad it was.
The sessions were quite intense. The end of the session was like the beginning of the session. It was the end of the session and the beginning of the next one. The intensity escalated until it got scary. And I remember deciding to come out of that session. I came out of the last session and decided to come out of all the previous sessions. I remember taking a deep breath, coming out of the session and thinking that’s it. That’s what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. That’s the solution to all my problems.
I have to come out of the sessions and make these choices. I’m going to come out of these sessions and stay in my world. And if I don’t like it, I’ll come out of the sessions and go somewhere else. And I know that I’m going to come out of these sessions one day. I’m going to live my life not inside these sessions. I remember coming out of the last session and deciding that. That’s what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m going to live my life. I remembered thinking that.
And if I want something from the outside world, I can go get it. But if I want it from inside the session, I have to come out of the session and ask for it. I have to make that decision by myself. And I remember making that decision for the rest of my life. I’m going to come out of these sessions and stay inside them. I was always making choices about what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
And the choice was always anger or depression. I always made that choice for the rest of my life. I remember coming out of the last session and I said, what the hell, I’m going to make that choice for the rest of my life. If I don’t like it, I’ll come out of these sessions and stay inside them.
That’s how you come out of these sessions. That’s how you make the choice that you’re going to live your life inside these sessions. You don’t come out of them, but you stay inside them.
And the thing is you’re not coming out of these sessions. The thing is you’re still making those choice all the time. When I make a choice, I feel it in my body. I have sensations all over my body, and they’re all kinds of sensations. I remember it was a lot of different sensations. And the thing is I’m always making that choice. If I don’t like it, I come out of this session, and I’m going to stay inside them. It’s always going to be the choice of what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. It’s like one side of a coin. One side always comes up heads, and one side always comes up tails. You can never get them to come up the same way.
You’ll never be exactly the same again.
Johnson